Part of my 11-day course “Mindfulness Made Easy”
Practising gratitude is an essential mindfulness tool that can bring about lasting and significant life-changes in us by shifting the way we see the world. Learning how we can foster a positive outlook on life can decrease our stress levels, increase our happiness and enhance our general physical and mental well-being.
So what is gratitude? Gratitude is simply noticing positive aspects in any situation, or things we can be thankful for in life, and taking the time to really appreciate them. It sounds like such a simple process, but in order for it to work, we cannot simply rely on us remembering to be grateful during moments of high stress or in the middle of a busy, hectic day. Therefore in order to enjoy the benefits of gratitude, we need to create consistent habits, because it is the long-term consistency that creates the lasting and cumulative benefits.
So although we may all know what practising gratitude is in theory, we must learn the techniques for putting it into practice, if we are really to change our general outlook on life and find fulfilment and lasting happiness.
The science behind practising gratitude
Practising gratitude has been shown to have a significant positive effect on the brain, especially in areas associated with emotions and general mental well-being. As we know, since the brain is the seat of our sentience, making positive changes to this organ may be able to influence the entire world, or at least our experience and perception of it. And if we can change our experience of the world, we can change our entire life, including its quality, its sense of meaning and our levels of fulfilment.
Here are some of the ways in which practising gratitude can influence the brain:
- The brain’s reward system. As we practice gratitude we are placing our focus onto something positive, whether that is a sensation, such as the scent of a spring morning, or the comfort of being warm by an open fire, or whether it is situational, such as being with loved ones. By being aware and allowing ourselves to experience this positive thing, we activate our brain’s reward system.This release of dopamine and serotonin induces feelings of pleasure and well-being, and it reinforces the behaviour, triggering a virtuous feedback loop.
- Changes in brain structure: By regularly practising gratitude, research suggests that our brains actually begin to alter their structure, rewiring parts of the prefrontal cortex and areas that are connected to emotional well-being. This shows the powerful capacity for our brains to continue to develop in positive ways, even if we have spent a lifetime reinforcing patterns of stress or anxiety. It’s never too late to relearn.
- Reduction of stress and cortisol levels: Reducing stress levels in one of the major consequences of practising gratitude. Chronic stress can have serious detrimental effects on the structures of the brain, including areas that are crucial to creating memory and regulating emotion, such as the hippocampus. By reducing or eliminating stress, we can help to preserve or improve our cognitive functions into later life.
- Enhanced connectivity: As we practise gratitude, we are strengthening the connectivity between different areas of the brain. Specifically, we are building more connections between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. These types of connections play an important role in managing and processing emotions. The improved bridging between zones are linked to a greater emotional balance and regulation.
- Impact on the limbic system: Other areas of emotional regulation include the limbic system and the amygdala. Practising gratitude has been shown to decrease runaway activity in these regions in response to negative stimuli. In other words, when faced with situations that are unfortunate, stressful or potentially distressing, we are better able to buffer ourselves against experiencing runaway upsetting emotions such as anxiety.
- Release of oxytocin: Oxytocin has been termed the hormone of bonding or love. It is associated with social activities such as bonding and trust, but it also helps to generate general feelings of well-being. Expressing gratitude has been linked to higher levels of oxytocin, resulting in people feeling more contented and happy.
- Improved sleep quality: It cannot be emphasised enough how important a good night’s sleep can be to our overall health, both short-term and long-term, affecting many different cognitive functions, healing and hormone regulation. Sleeping consistently less than seven or eight hours a night has been compared by medial practitioners to smoking, in terms of its long-term health consequences. Luckily, practising gratitude has been shown to improve the quality of our sleep. By generally being more aware of the positives in our life, by insulating ourselves from the ongoing stresses and strains, by being able to put things into perspective rather than dwelling on them in the small hours, we are better able to reward ourselves with the gift of a good night’s sleep.
- Positive effect on mental health: More generally, people who practice gratitude can trigger a host of other beneficial responses in the brain that can have direct a positive impact on our well-being, such as reduced levels of anxiety or depression, more a positive outlook on life, and the ability to recognize and be open to all the positive opportunities and experiences that present themselves.
Whilst the precise neurological processes that unfold as a consequence of practising gratitude is still an ongoing area of research, we can safely say that the evidence points to the overwhelming benefits to be had by simply practising mindful gratitude as an integral part of our daily life. Our brain functions and our cognitive templates can be honed in ways that bring us greater emotional well-being and overall mental health.
Ways to practise gratitude
Whilst we can all infer the concept of practising gratitude, in order to really leverage its power and create positive change in our life, we must approach it in a consistent and structured way, knowing what techniques and habits are the most effective for our long-term health and happiness.
There are several ways in which we can employ gratitude into our daily routine, and different people may prefer different approaches. The following is a collection of suggestions for how to successfully integrate mindful gratitude into your life. Try them out and explore which ones suit your individual lifestyle best. Feel free to tweak and experiment with the formats until you find something that works for you. But whatever you choose to do, be consistent. And commit to practising gratitude for at least a month, because if we can stick to a new routine for at least three weeks, we build strong enough neurological connections associated with it and therefore it becomes cemented as a new habit. Create modest helpful habits in life are the stepping stones to finding long term happiness and fulfilment.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on ways you can practice gratitude:
- Keep a gratitude journal:
- Get a journal: Purchase a blank notebook or use a digital text app on your phone or laptop, specifically for your gratitude practice. Digital text files can be convenient, but a pen and notebook can lend the ritual a weight and intimacy that cannot be replicated on a phone. If the notebook and pen are pleasingly designed, then the very act of handling and using them can illicit positive feelings.
- Set a time: Choose a time each day to reflect on and jot down things that you’re grateful for, and be consistent. Whether that’s a few minutes during breakfast, in order to set your day off on the right foot, or whether it’s during your lunch hour or last thing in the evening as you reflect upon your day, find that time where you can grab just a few minutes of quiet reflection.
- Reflect on three things:
- Identify blessings: It is best to keep the gratitudes to a number that allows you to reflect on and give each one the attention that it deserves. This will bring a deeper sense of understanding for those things we are grateful for. So each day that you practice gratitude, think of just three things. They can be things that have happened during the day, they could be significant aspects of your life, or they can be something small and pleasing that is unfolding in that very moment.
- Be specific: Try not to be too general when reflecting on and describing your gratitudes. For instance, instead of simply being grateful for your family, focus instead on a specific incident that particularly made you happy this day, such as a lovely conversation you had with your child before bedtime. Being more specific allows us to fully experience our gratitude. A person who does not truly know nature will look at a woodland and see only trees, whereas someone who has taken the time to really understand nature will rejoice in seeing oaks and willows and hawthorns and beeches, and the landscape as a whole will take on a completely different dimension, offering a richer and more joyous experience. So be detailed; put names and specifics to the things you are grateful for, and it will create a richer appreciation for these parts of your life.
- Express your feelings:
- Connect emotionally: As you note down your gratitudes, try to really connect with the emotions you are feeling. Be sure to describe not only the thing that you are grateful for but how it makes you feel. And by doing so, try to relive that feeling, as you write it. Step into that moment once again, and feel the positive energy. It is your reward in life to enjoy those good moments when they come.
- Mix it up:
- Diversify your gratitude: Variety is the spice of life, and on that theme, it is a good idea to focus on a variety of areas within your life. Try not to focus merely on work-life gratitudes or home-life gratitudes, but a mix of everything—relationships, experiences, personal achievements that day, successes, or even qualities about yourself that you can feel good about. These are all things we must place our attention on from time to time if we are to attain a rounded sense of fulfilment.
- Don’t repeat too often: The more we repeat a particular experience, very often it demonstrates the law of diminished returns. This can be so with practising gratitudes, should we stick to the same few. So try not to repeat the same items too often. By doing this you will naturally be encouraged to think creatively and appreciate different aspects of your life. This alone, may lead you down new paths of awareness, bringing your attention to pleasures and opportunities you had never properly acknowledged before.
- Describing your experience:
- Use your senses: To really cement your experience of the moment, you can try engaging your senses as you describe the gratitude. For example, if you are grateful for a moment that is currently unfolding, such as a sunrise over the ocean, you might like to choose to notice as many sensual aspects as you can—the breeze on your face, the smell of the sea, the peach-red light that washes over the landscape, the sound of the waves, the warmth of the first rays of light. If you are writing this gratitude down after the fact, then repeat this process of noticing as you remember or relive the moment. This way, the remembering will be so vivid, it will almost be like stepping back into that wonderful moment, and experiencing the pleasure and the benefits all over again.
- Be present: When it’s time to write down and reflect upon your gratitudes, remind yourself to be fully present in the moment. By really noticing and reliving the memory, try to avoid rushing through the practice. By savouring these positive feelings, you are learning how to really appreciate the good things that come to you and accrue their full benefit to your life. You are learning to be mindful, and to not always keep half an eye on what’s coming up next.
- Sharing your gratitude:
- Express to others: Sometimes it’s important to let others know when you appreciate them. Expressing your gratitude directly to the people in your life can help to strengthen bonds and forge better relationships. Of course, people may begin to feel uncomfortable if you were to overdo it by being too vociferous or overbearing with your gratitude, but in general, showing someone that you appreciate them, from time to time, can be beneficial to everyone.
- Include yourself: It’s also important not to forget to include yourself when identifying gratitudes. Whether you are expressing gratitude for the efforts or your achievements, or your personal growth, or any other aspect of yourself that you are grateful for, don’t be afraid to articulate these feelings. Self-encouragement and praise can be an effective confidence-booster—and can counter the tendency we often have for berating ourselves unfairly. Building up self-esteem is a crucial part of finding contentment and mental well-being. Expressing gratitudes about yourself can be a great stepping stone towards this goal.
- Creating rituals:
- Incorporate gratitude into daily routines: Rituals are an incredibly useful tool in providing meaning to our lives and creating a structure on which to hang healthy habits. This includes the practising of gratitude. By tying your gratitude practice to an existing habit (such as breakfast, or a quiet moment before bed) or by creating your own special ritual, you will be better placed and more likely to continue your gratitudes and incorporate them into your life. Creating a ritual doesn’t have to be complicated. I like to push the boat out and purchase a really pleasing journal. And I have a cherished pen that I have been using for many years. By imbuing these items with weight and fondness, it becomes easy then to turn the noting down of gratitudes into a meaningful ritual. However you decide to ritualise practising gratitude, choose a process that works for you—that has the right level of import, comfort, quietness, actions, objects. All of these aspects can help to focus your thoughts and train you to get into the right frame of mind. Rituals don’t have to be fancy, they just have to work.
- Visual reminders: If it helps, place sticky-notes, images or other notes around your house or workplace, to remind you to have moments of gratitude throughout your day or week. Perhaps place an alert on your phone if you want to dedicate a regular slot in your day. Any external reminders that can return your focus onto the good things in your life, can be like a life-ring for your mood or mental health, if you are having a bad day.
- Adjust to your style:
- Find what works for you: When I suggest techniques or practices, be sure to remember that these are suggestions only—they are not written in stone, and are not to be taken dogmatically. The importance of practising gratitude, and mindfulness in general is in finding your own path towards a different way of being. It doesn’t matter how you reach this more meaningful and contented state, so long as you do. Like the river that meanders towards the ocean, there is no one path to take.With this in mind, be sure to experiment with different approaches to gratitude. Whether it’s through the use of daily rituals, journal writing, speaking to others or to oneself, meditating quietly, sketching, or even using a ‘gratitude jar’ with little notes inside, take your time to find a method that really works for you and your lifestyle. Find that approach that resonates with you—one that you feel comfortable committing to and that will help you to recognise all the good things that make up your life.
Remember, consistency is the key. Whichever method you choose, it’s only successful if it encourages you to turn it into a daily gratitude habit. Slowly, over time you will begin to notice differences in yourself. Such as an ability to focus on the positives in your life and situation, or gradually fostering an optimistic outlook and enjoying an overall sense of well-being. By incorporating gratitude into your mindful practices, you will find that contentment is within reach.
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